Feeling mentally well is just as important as being physically well - & that’s something we stand for here at the Inner Growth Collective.
For a lot of people, a big source of mental stress and anxiety is the unknown. When we think about situations in the future or ones that we feel we have little control over, we can often spiral into overthinking and anxious thoughts overall.
In order to find more peace in our lives, it’s essential to learn how to navigate this need for control.
Now, let’s do some self awareness work:
Do you often find yourself seeking reassurance from others about their intentions or feelings?
Do you feel anxious before social events where you don’t know most people, or anyone?
Do you worry about how others might perceive you?
Do you get stressed out about situations that could potentially happen, but might not even take place at all?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, ask yourself: is getting worked up about any of that worth the time? the mental drain? the stress? (I bet your answer is no).
the illusion of control
Many of us may seek to create the illusion of control to deal with these feelings - maybe through a repetitive schedule and knowing exactly what comes next in our daily lives. However, as soon as something disrupts this, anxiety can take a hold and we may either fall inward or lash out.
While you may TRY to create the illusion of control, at some point you’re going to have to accept that life is full of unknowns and ‘what ifs’, and there are MANY things in our lives that are impossible to predict. Things can change quickly, and learning to be flexible, adaptive and to flow with life is essential for your inner peace. SO, let’s chat about a couple things you can start doing today to find more more flow and peace in your own life.
5 mindset shifts to help you navigate the need to control
1. Change your perspective on the past and future:
The past already happened, and as much as you wish you could go back and change certain things about it, take away the learning lessons instead. The future is impossible to predict, no matter how hard you try — did you predict exactly how you met your best friend or what your current apartment looks like? I bet not. So why would you waste your mental energy trying to be a fortune teller?
2. Focus on the present instead
As Eckart Tolle says: “As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love – even the most simple action.”. Start focusing on activities that help you stay PRESENT - maybe that means putting away your phone while working, practicing meditation or using your five senses to connect with your current physical environment.
3. Notice your repetitive thoughts
Uncomfortable emotions that keep coming back stem from repetitive thoughts in our brains. Start noticing your thoughts and you’ll realize that at the end of the day, you’re not the thoughts themselves, but the observer. Your mind is often lying to you or tricking you - and when you start noticing which false thoughts or anxious thoughts you have over and over again, and the emotions they keep triggering, you can begin to form an action plan for stopping them.
4. Practice affirmations
At Inner Growth Collective, we’re big on the power of words. Affirmations are a powerful tool in those moments where you catch yourself falling into a repetitive thought pattern again. My favorite affirmation right now is: I relax, I let go, my life is in perfect flow.
5. Let yourself have more fun
One thing I’ve learned over time is that the more I try to control people, situations, or outcomes, the more stressed I feel, the more tense I become and the less fun I have. Maybe we’re all here to learn to enjoy life more — maybe our purpose is simply to let our lives guide us and to see the beauty in the process. Maybe life isn’t as complicated as we make it out to be once we let ourselves flow rather than control.
If you take one thing away from this article, let it be this:
There’s no magic formula for life and there’s no one right way to do things. You will not be able to control every outcome, to prevent any judgment from others, or to predict the future. So, let yourself enjoy life more by learning to ride the wave you’re on rather than predicting when the next current is coming.
With love,
Carolina
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